I love the game Yahtzee. Pretty simple, don't have to think too hard, and who doesn't love to get all excited and scream out Yahtzee when you get one? The entire game you are waiting for the dice to fall in your favor, all 5 face up with the same number.
Today marks 10 MONTHS waiting for a referral. Got to be honest, this is hard. Knowing my friend got her referral at 10 months and she was #13 on the list (and that was a LONG wait at the time) and knowing there are others sitting at 19 months now, is discouraging. For those entering this process knowing they are going to have a long wait is one thing, but to really think-- based off everyone you had seen before you-- that you would get a referral in 4 months or so and still be sitting at #39 is painful. Anyways, it looks like we are in for a long haul.....so I was thinking of doing a giveaway AND explaining some adoption lingo at the same time.
This has been taken from a fellow adoptive mom's post, who wrote this about their adoption (but I personalized it with our names:). You can read the entire post
HERE. (Oh yeah, she has a super cool name!) Some of the thoughts also come from the book Adopted for Life by Russell Moore. I highly recommend it for ANYONE.
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We have been fortunate to have taken courses and read books on the topic of adoption. We have learned what language to use when talking about adoption so as to call things what they are make children who have been adopted feel welcome. I want to share this information with you so that you too know some good ways in which to talk about adoption.
Here are some things I hope you don't say when you talk about our family:
A.) What not to say: "The Strickland's have an adopted child."
Why this isn't the best choice:
Adoption is a one-time event that takes place in a kid's life. They shouldn't be referred to as someone's "adopted child" for the rest of their lives. It's like saying of a child who was born via c-section, "This is my c-section child." I don't introduce my 2 boys that way (even though it is true). But it was a one time event and it is over and done with. Now they are healthy and moving on. My child will be adopted - one time. Then the adoption will be complete---and she will be our own.
Instead say: "The Stricklands have 4 children."
B.) What not to say: "The Strickland's have 1 adopted child and 3 of their own."
Why this isn't the best choice:
Our adopted child is our own. If not, whose are they? What message might they hear when someone says this in front of them? We plan on raising all of our children with the same level of love and commitment, regardless if they came to us through birth or adoption.
Instead say: "The Stricklands have 4 children."
C.) What not to say: "The Stricklands have 1 adopted child and 3 natural (or real) children."
Why this isn't the best choice:
My child who is adopted must have 3 eyes then, to not be natural! I think the word people are looking for there is biological. That is an okay thing for you to say in my book. I someday may have a mix of children who were adopted and biological children. Please don't use "natural" because it implies "unnatural" or "real" because it implies they are "not real."
Instead say: "The Stricklands have 4 children."
Or, if you must differentiate for some reason, please say "The Stricklands have 1 child who was adopted and 3 biological children."
Bottom Line: We want our children differentiated based on their personalities and interests, not by how they came into our family. I would love love LOVE it if someday someone said about us, "Those are the Stricklands. Eden likes piano, Eli likes baseball, Tobe likes art and Chloe likes to run." That would be so cool.
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There is going to be some obvious differences and that is going to be a journey in and of itself. But they all 4 will be Stricklands. They will be
"4 of a Kind". And the value of each of them will be the same---perfect and a child of God and us, The Strickland's.
Now, this is not to say that Chris and I don't want to talk about adoption with you. In fact, we would love to. It is not a secret, and we are not ashamed of the fact that we are adopting. BUT, we don't want our friends and family to speak about our child as "adopted" in front of her. She needs to know she fully belongs with us and is accepted by us (just like each of our children, by the way) and is part of our family. God brought our family together, and He chose different ways to do so. I am so glad he did!
So to mark our wait-aversary.....we will give away the classic game of Yahtzee (still factory sealed). And when all the stars align, all the dice are rolled in our favor, and God has found us our child---you will hear me scream a whole lot more than YAHTZEE!
How to enter:
1) Leave a comment about your favorite family board game. (1 entry)
2) Share on facebook and leave a SEPARATE comment saying you did so. (1 entry)
3) Become a follower of the blog (or state your already are) and leave a SEPARATE comment saying you did so. (1 entry)
Winner will be drawn Saturday (5/12/12) a12:12 pm. (Because I am silly like that).
