Awakening

"Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, 

and all these things will be added to you."  Matt. 6:33

In my study, there are three parts.  Awakening. Honesty.  Action.  (Hence the acronym AHA).  I am a bit more than half way done and am diving into the Honesty portion of the study.  I'll be honest, the honesty portion is not an easy task. (see the irony?) So for now, I will refect on the first section---Awakening.

Awakening can be defined as "an opportunity to wake up and encounter God in a deeper way than ever before."  It is an opportunity to see God work.  An opportunity to experience His healing and redeeming love in a whole new way.  I want that.  I seek that.  But then I don't.  Why?  I am not sure.  But I know I want the end of my story to change.  I want to draw nearer to God and and be transformed.  The text mentions that we are living in a "country of the blind".  We are blind to the world's subtle trappings.  We are supposedly meaningfully transformed, or changed on a Sunday and then the rest of the week---we are caught up in our routine.  I know this is true of me.  Not that I am necessarily a "Sunday Christian", but more so that I let the world talk me off my proverbial ledge the very next day.  I walk immediately back into THE world.  One of the practical ways, the author says to open our eyes and refocus, (rather than remain blind) is to go on a retreat, change your routine. I was able to do just that this past weekend and the retreat was good.  I was able to be still and listen, to seek God's truth and come to some realizations about my spiritual growth (or lack there of).  I realized I walk into THE world of laziness and convenience.  I walk into my own comfortable world.    I walk back into the world of selfishness and pride.  Different distractions and idols come at me and I let them sweep over me.  Other realizations I had is that I truly was trying to live by my own power, rather than the Holy Spirit living in me.  And that I continue to put my trust in other things rather than God alone.  I don't mean to....but being blind I just subconciously go there.  I don't have any "magic" resolution as of yet.  But I believe if I am more honest with myself in the days to come and truly take action after my honesty is revealed, that there is hope for lasting change.  I feel like I have been a prisoner of sorts for a while now, definitely not free.  I believe God is asking me to surrender my role of prisoner and instead accept my role of citizen in His Kingdom------not the Kingdom of this world. 

It is time to wake up---for good!