Somewhere over near Branson......

We had a great Halloween weekend this year. We enjoyed time with dear friends, the Gerdels (& the Tapley's, & Maggie & Lane) & the Langs----and our wonderful family. Chris, Greg, Evan, & Nathan ran in the Bass Pro 5K and did great. Missy & her sister in law ran in the half marathon on Sunday and also did amazing. The pumpkin patch was tons of fun even though it was in tin-buck-tu. I had wanted Chris & I to dress up along with the kiddos, but the day just got away from us and our plans were changed and therefore we did not. But I would have been Glenda, the good witch of the North, and Chris would have been the Scarecrow. Eden LOVED being Dorothy, Eli LOVED being a lion, not necessarily the lion from the Wizard of Oz. I think he wanted to be Simba from the Lion King, and Tobe could care less. Although I thought Tobe's was the most fun costume to put together....The other two were borrowed outfits of which I am grateful, but I loved adding the heart to Tobe's outfit (minor details). Anyways I love this pic my friend captured.....I think it depicts the friendship among my kiddos and although they occassionally drive me crazy getting on each other's nerves and mine at the same time, I know they love each other, just like the dear friends in the movie who were there for each other the whole time.

PCOS.........Say what?

PCOS.....Say What? (I am saying this in my best Hannah Montana voice---if you moms get my drift.) At least Eden would be proud. PCOS is what I have recently been diagnosed with. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is genetic (which makes me feel a whole lot better that I had no control over getting this or not)! It affects the ability to ovulate (Praise God for my 3 miracles), lose weight (which is why I've struggled for 7+ years or so) and lots of other lovely symptoms that I don't want to necessarily mention. It is connected with my insulin, so I am prediabetic. And if not managed properly can lead to many other severe health issues down the road. One out of ten women have it, so it is pretty common.

Let me back up a bit, I was having some majorily weird symptoms & hormone issues and thinking the vasectomy we had a year and a half ago wasn't doing its job. Knowing I probably wasn't pregnant, but kind of wishing I was I headed to the doctor to see what was "wrong" with me. Pretty quickly got my confirmation of PCOS. In some ways glad to know what was going on, but in other ways disappointed to know that I have to deal with this "disorder", manage it, wake up, etc. I am struggling with the idea of having to do something, rather than choosing to do it on my own. (You know quit soda, exercise daily, etc.) When I am told what to do, I like to rebel. But I didn't choose these healthy habits on my own, I waited too long and now I have to and it is hard.

My husband is on his own weight loss journey and doing great (he has already lost several inches & 15 pounds). He just completed his 4th 5K and didn't walk once (which is a goal I have yet to accomplish in my own 5K's). I am proud of him. But up to this point, it has been me thinking I am kicking him into gear, me thinking he needs this more than me, me thinking I am being simply supportive. Rather than the real fact that I need to be kicked into gear maybe more than he does. Granted diabetes is a risk from both sides of our family, but I seriously thought it would be Chris to get it and not me.

All this to say, I need help. I don't have the motivation. I hate to wake up early to exercise, especially when it is so dark outside. I LOVE to sleep. I LOVE Coke or Pepsi or anything that fizzes. I have other things I am working on and I am tired. I LOVE fall and the cool crisp air only if I don't have to run in it. I hate the tread mill, but I hate running outside if it is cold. Sounds like I have a lot of "hates", doesn't it?

Well, I thought I would finally just jot down what I was thinking and see if it jump starts me on the right track. I am not necessarily looking for suggestions, I know what I need to do. Maybe I am asking for prayer to help me do what I need to do and stop doing what I don't need to do. I hate Romans 7. :) Thanks for listening.

Not the "middle child" for a day.

Well I think Chris and I finally did something right. :) We did not give in to the "middle child" syndrome---well at least for a day. Chris and I ran in our 3rd 5K this past Saturday. It was the Run to Read Race sponsored by the YMCA and the Missourian. So I thought it would be fun to sign up one of my kids. They had a "baby dash" for 5 year olds and younger. Thinking to myself, I haven't signed Eli up for any sort of sports yet, this might be fun to participate in. Well he did have fun. He loved getting a T-shirt like mommy and daddy. He really loved racing like "Flash Gordon" around the indoor track. And he really, really loved getting a medal for running. Little did I know that big sister would be jealous of her brother getting to run. It was tough trying to explain to Eden why I didn't sign her up, regardless of the fact that she was too old for that category and she would not have been able to run the 5K. She insisted on running the track afterwards all by herself and was pretty put out that Eli got a medal. I had to mention how she earned $16 in the fair and about a dozen ribbons for her art in the art exhibit. Eli could not participate. We mentioned several other things that she gets to do, that Eli does not get to do. SO....for the first recorded time (maybe we did this once before---but I didn't log it so I can't remember) Eli got to do something before his sister. It was a long day, and we had to give lots of extra love to Eden that day. But I loved our time with Eli that day. I guess we need to intentionally do this more often with each of our children---have some one-on-one time with all three of them. But until then we will relish in getting it right at least once.

Packing away "teddy" named Octopus

I wanted to tell you about the octopus Eli got for his 1st bday. It was a blue Baby Einstein Octopus that Eli named Octopus. He literally stopped sleeping with it last week. It has been the "teddy bear" for the last 3+ years. We were going to have him give it up for the 4th bday in Aug. and mail "it" to my new nephew who "needed" it--(because Eli sucks his thumb when he holds the octopus) ---but I couldn't. Of course I was going to mail a new one, and keep my germ-infested one in a keepsake box. In the 3 years, I've washed octopus once. So I hate to think what might live on it (but hey, my kids are pretty healthy). As of a week ago, someone told him he was going to turn into a zombie if he sucked his thumb and he hasn't used his octopus now for a week. I hate that he thinks he'll turn into a zombie, but am somewhat glad he isn't sucking his thumb. I will be sad to pack the octopus away. We still are going to get my nephew, Mason, one for Christmas. He turns one in Jan. In Eli's scrapbook, I have a page devoted to his octopus, although he was only one when I took the pictures. Don't think I even knew the extent to which he would love that octopus. It is weird when you see those commericals of kids where they can't function without the teddy bear or blanket. My Eden never had a lovey that she had to have. But if we took Eli on any over night trip and forgot octopus, you might as well drive back to the house to get it because you were not going to sleep that night anyway. It got really hard last year when he had to go to the babysitter 2 days a week and I could never remember to pack octopus. They had some bad naps. Anyways, again I will be sad to pack away that little part of his life. Now to move on to the pacifier and his baby brother.......

the D-word

I hate the D-word. No it's not a 4-letter D-word (although I'm sure those aren't so good either), but a huge D-word. DISCIPLINE. Why is self-discipline so hard? I mean really. The fact that I am no good at self-discipline is not a new concept. Even in college, my girlfriends and I tried to challenge each other to be the "QUEEN OF DISCIPLINE" for a semester and hold each other accountable to our studies in a timely fashion. It lasted a little while, and then I fizzled out. I do that over and over again.

So now I am at this time in my life, I am really thinking it is about time I got a good handle on a few things. My devotion time, my finances, my health and body, my discipline/teaching of my children, my house routine (cleaning of), just to name a few. It is so hard to start a routine in several of these areas and keep up with it. I also know that many times you need to conquer one thing before you move on to the other, but I don't think so in this situation. It's like waiting to have a baby until you have enough money. It will never happen! We cannot afford to wait on taking care of our health/weight until we have all of our finances under control, yet it is hard to eat properly when all you can afford is boxed food. If we were to wait, we are hurting our chances of making progress in the other areas of needed discipline. Anyways, I am just babbling, but please pray that I can be pleased with the baby steps in several areas of my life, and not be discouraged. I, myself, would rather take giant leaps than have to take baby steps. But baby steps are good. Right?

My journal entry for the last 10 years (when I actually journal---which is very few and far between) goes something like this: Lord, forgive me for my lack of discipline. Please give me the discipline to...... I am taking hold of a verse this week and maybe you can too. Not that it is new to anyone, but just a powerful verse that I need to be reminded of. 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." Holy Spirit, may I rely on your power to help me endure temptations in my life and to give me the strength to continue in my quest of self-discipline. PLEASE & AMEN!