One Year Referralversary!

15 months old at time of referral.

So many emotions in a year.  To think we just saw her face a year ago is sometimes unfathomable.  It seems she has been part of our family forever.  I reread my "At Last" blog post and it just doesn't capture the anticipation we had on this date a year ago.  We had every hope that we would get a referral that day.  On July 3rd I actually emailed our agency/social worker asking up the pending referral(s) we kept hearing about and knowing we weren't going to have great cell phone reception---"I kind of feel like the final weeks of a pregnancy and need to see my dr once a week!  Lol! (That's why I'm emailing you weekly!). Thanks."  

The response was good and nervewracking all at the same time.  She told me they were waiting on the last paperwork/pictures for 1 referral and they could not give me the gender (knowing we were next for a girl, but would be skipped if it was for a boy).  But then asked if I would have a cell phone!  Anyways, we thoroughly enjoyed our holiday, but we kind of were hoping, wishing, praying, knowing in our hearts, that Friday was our day.  You can read the rest of the story HERE.....sadly, we still owe Tobe a day of hiking, cave exploring. :) 

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July 4th/5th, 2014

Now she is 27 months old and been home for 8 months.

The shirt says it all "Family Rocks!"  Chloe was taken care of well at her orphanage and transition home.  She was even thrown a birthday party, she is smiling in her pics, her hair is done, it is obvious she wasn't being neglected in any form or fashion that you may think (now that still goes on in Ethiopia and around the world)---but she was cared for kindly by the staff.  BUT what she did not have was a FAMILY.  Family makes all the difference.  She says so many words, but some of her favorites to repeat are "sissy, Iden, bubby, Eli, Tobe, daddy, and mommy".  "Mommy" especially in the car, like an never ending game of Marco Polo---but I digress.  She prays with them, plays with them, is ornery with them, and loves them to pieces and they love her.  It is a treasure to watch the big 3 love on her, dote on her, teach her, feed her, share with her, pray for her, sing to her, and play with her.  (If only I could get Eden to change diapers).  Family is forever!  

*On a side note, since it is 4th of July weekend.....I will say that Chloe did NOT like the fireworks.  When we had our personal gathering with my cousin's family she watched them a bit, but for the most part snuggled into me.  Then Tobe and I wanted to see the "big" fireworks tonight at a neigboring town and Chloe said/acted like she wanted to see them too.  So off we went.  These were really loud and she would not look at them, again she snuggled into my chest, and held on for dear life.  Afterwards she kept saying "fireworks-scared" over and over.  I would take her to the scary fireworks over and over again for that snuggling into me experience.  Is that bad?  :)  

I love her to pieces!  So grateful for God's faithfulness to us.

Need a Mom's Night Out????

I've neglected the blog and I apologize.  Life is good, life is busy.  Perhaps I need a mom's night out?  I mean a LITERAL "Mom's Night Out"!!!???!!!  I got to see Sarah Drew's  testimony at the Hearts at Home conference.....and it made me super excited to see the movie.  I'm EXCITED!!!!  ONE MONTH FROM TODAY.

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/share-code/NWFiODQ0YzcxODIzMjMzN2E0NTcyNzExZDdiNjFhOjk=/

Easy, you say?

I have four children.  Each a different story in their "delivery" to our home.  Eden is my natural birth (and by natural I mean came through my woman parts---I still had an epideral (hollah!)) and also the only time we didn't know the sex of the baby before she came, Eli is my "he's so big we better get this started" induction that ended in a c-section (not to mention a state wide move at 7.5 months pregnant), Tobe is my planned c-section w/ a side order of gestational diabetes (and a good "let's scare you with some good 'ole genetic counseling as well), and Chloe is the longest expectancy that I have of course experienced and if you have followed my blog you know our timeline to bring her home.

There are a few blogs out there that talk about some of the insensitive things people say (many times unintentionally) when talking to adoptive families.  So since it is usually unintentional, the only way to combat it is to educate.  But this insensitive comment hasn't been mentioned in any of those blogs and yet with some troubling news within the Ethiopian program, I feel the need to write about it.  I know I'm not the only one to hear it.  I had a friend who experienced it:

"At urgent care with K this evening the nurse asks me "Is she adopted?" I replied "yes". The nurse replies "Could you not have kids of your own?" I laughed (at the ignorance of the words "your own") and said "something like that." She replies "Guess you took the easy way out...huh?"

Oh sister....the words that wanted to come out of my mouth. Thankfully I love Jesus...that's all I am saying!"

Then, some time in our last four months (it kind of can become a  blur).  Those words were addressed to me.  I can remember sitting down with this person and them asking about Chloe and with none of my biological kids in eyesight and she asked the same question. Actually it wasn't a question at all, it was an assumption formulated as a statement. "Oh you went the easy route."  I do have the pleasure of experiencing both giving birth and adopting and I can tell you with full assurance, I believe Chloe was my most difficult to bring home. And I am not just talking about a 17 hour plane ride. 

And right now I am hurting for some of my friends.  I am hurting for my friends with 3 kids that share their last name (for 8 months now), that accepted their kiddos' referrals OVER 3 years ago, but are still living on different continents.  I am hurting for the friend who is fighting with our embassy for her 2 kids to come home to an unplanned time line. I am hurting for friends who are waiting on clarity from God on how to proceed with their adoptions and answers don't come quickly.  I am hurting for the friend who has a picture of her son but no idea if she will ever get to bring him home due to unethical people beyond her control. I am hurting for the friend who has been waiting for 30 months to see a picture/referral with no end in sight when she was told when they first started the time frame was less than a "normal" pregnancy (I thought 24 months was HARD).  I am hurting for so many friends that were waiting on the next step, the anticipation of meeting their kids face to face and saying "yes" in court and now are on hold.  Friends, it is anything but easy.

The roller coaster of emotions is still there.  Even if you are not having morning sickness, hormones elevated, and a growing belly.    There is still "yuck" to deal with.  I remember thinking of a lot of "not fair" moments. Doubt and questioning whether you are with the right agency. Perhaps even opposition from family and friends. There was "yuck" not only in what seemed to me to be never ending "waiting" and hearing our child's story for the first time, but bringing them home and dealing with grief, loss, transition, culture shock, development after being in an orphanage with absolutely no stimulation, attachment disorders, learning a new language, not understanding an old language, food issues, sleep issues,etc and all these issues often come without having any background knowlege and the disadvantage of maybe never knowing where they stem from.  Many people deal with many of these adoption related issues. And some of that is just with international adoptions.  Fostering adds a whole new set of hard circumstances. Friends, it is anything but easy.

I won't pretend to know what it feels like to not have carried a baby in my womb.  I hurt for friends who longed for this and know it isn't a reality for them.  I know from talking to many of them that they struggled with infertility for years before bringing their blessing home.  They may have babies in heaven. The emotions that come with all of that.  They cried out to God.  They paid doctors fees and more fees for a chance at that pregnancy.  They were eventually led to adoption by God. We don't always have the answers to the "why's" in this life, but thank God my friends answered the call to experience family in this way.  Yet, it was anything but easy. 

I'm sure had this lady seen my 3 biological children, she might not have made that comment.  In a way, even though it angers me, it gave me the ever so slightest glimpse into the mama's heart that came to adoption because they couldn't  biologically have kids and I am grateful.  I applaud those mama's and those dada's.  I know it isn't easy and yet throughout my time waiting, I had 3 little distractions that I know must have eased some of my waiting pain.  Your lack of distraction and solely thinking of the life you are trying to bring home is not unnoticed by me.

And there is one more group of people.  Those that chose to adopt first.  Not because they couldn't have biological children, but simply because they wanted to start their family in this way.  And I know from some of their stories, it still wasn't easy. 

The final group reminds me of someone.  God Almighty.

"Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son."    
                                                                   Ephesians 1: 4-6

Even though God chose us before the world, even though he decided in advance to adopt us into His family-----It still wasn't easy.  Because we know this: "For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son.....". Christ was tortured for us.  He was humiliated for us.  He was spit on, mocked, and forgotten by his friends for us.  He carried the cross for us. He shed his blood for us. He died for us.  He took on our sin for us.  He fought Satan for us.  The end result? Family. Heaven. Salvation. Promises Fulfilled.  The road to get there? Loss. Grief. Abandonment. Betrayal. Leaving his home. Hard.

Adoption is forever family, beautiful, worth the wait, a picture of God, faith strengthening and exhilirating (did I say worth it?).  It is also anything, but easy.



***DISCLAIMER [I hate that I feel the need to write a disclaimer.  But these days, people go misunderstood.  I want you to know I am not negating the "hard" that comes with our own pregnancies.  I know many people that have very high risk pregnancies and many that worked very hard with many trials to get there.  It is also anything, but easy.  But as one that has experienced both and as women, I know we don't want to be insensitive....I simply write this to educate that adoption is a different road, one that is not easy, and yet the results of entering into motherhood are the same.  Let's treat the mothers that entered into motherhood through adoption with the same respect.]

"Great is Thy Faithfulness"----Legacy by Leta

***Note:  Chris wrote this 5 years ago after my grandmother's 90th bday celebration.  Now 5 years later I am reposting it.  She is in heaven celebrating with Jesus.  No lady deserves it more.  I am so grateful for everything my grandma stood for.  Family. Faith. Grace. Grandma.

"You will not read about her in a history book, she will not be heralded by the media. Though her influence is widespread and continues to grow. Born to David and Dorthy Dotson,  her mother passed away when she was seven, leaving her to be raised by her father and grandparents. Later in life she would marry her sweetheart, Asa. Even though her husband did not attend church, she remained faithful. Seeing her husband go and come back from war, she leaned on her Heavenly Father to give her support as she worked in a factory making gunpowder for the war. Working in the factory, farming, or as a seamstress, she helped provide for her 7 children with financial support as well as making clothes for all the children, providing delicious meals, and making sure her children knew they were loved. She not only talked about the love of God, but was the practical, day to day, hands of God in the distribution of love and grace. Would it not be fitting, that on her 90th birthday last Sunday, she would sing with her 4 daughters a hymn of declaration that she has lived out. "Great is Thy faithfulness, morning by morning new mercies I see, all I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me." A great testimony of faith to her loving church, her children, 20 grandchildren, and 18 great grandchildren.In these turbulent times, when the stock market is up and down, in a time of war, where the future is dim and unclear, thank you Leta Bell Malcom. Thank you for reminding me to continue to place my trust in God. Thank you for sharing that with your children and grandchildren, especially to your grandaughter, Amber, who will help me pass on this legacy to our children. No, her name won't be known by millions but her faithfulness to God is her legacy that will continue to be handed down to generations."---Chris Strickland

My beloved Grandma--Leta Bell Malcom. A true saint in heaven.

Her Legacy: Grandma had 7 children, 20 grandchildren and 26 great-grandchildren.  (If I can count!)

BRING ON 2014!

So, I've had tunnel vision so to speak for the last 3 years.....for the most part focused on paper chasing, waiting, and bringing Chloe home.  Obviously life didn't stop, I enjoyed Eden, Eli, and Tobe as well and all the joy they bring our family in different ways.  I've also enjoyed and grown in my marriage the last few years.  I've enjoyed new depths in my friendships and experienced generosity beyond comprehension.  On this blog, and in some ways in life, I fear it has mainly been about our adoption process.  It is true, our lives have drastically changed for the better because of adoption.  But there is so much more to our daily lives than that, isn't there?  I want to be healthy. I want to have a healthy, growing relationship with my Lord.  I want to be part of a healthy church. I want to have a healthy body (and self-image). I want to have a healthy bank account/finiancial life. I want a healthy house (where CHAOS doesn't sit on the throne). I want to have healthy parent-child relationships and a healthy peace within our home's walls. I want to have healthy friendships.  I WANT TO HAVE DISCIPLINE.  After sitting on the sidelines and watching 2 of my friends fast several things this entire year---I am spurred on to do somethings differently--finally.  Now that is not to say I've sat on my butt for these 3 years, cause I haven't. I have seen my prayer life grow by leaps and bounds these past few years. I have mastered the art of putting on a 5K as a fundraising event and held 5 different 5K's and 3 other fundraisers. I also have worked either as a paraprofessional, substitute teacher, interim Children's Minister, and a MOPS co-coordinator. I ran my first half marathon in September 2011, my 2nd one in May 2012, and 3rd one in October of 2012.  I didn't run much in 2013.  As proof of that I got this lovely email, which made me laugh because I really didn't "kick laziness in the butt"......

BUT (no pun intended), I WANT TO KICK IT'S BUTT IN 2014!  I will give myself some grace because the last three years have taken perserverance, faith, trust, courage, and strength.  But I continue (my life long story) to lack in the discipline department.  So I feel that I am motivated to "BRING IT ON" this year.  Discipline.  Healthiness. Consistency.  To develop these traits will still take perserverance, faith, trust, courage, and strength.  But I am ready.  Are you ready to help me?  Encourage me?  I hope so.  There are lots of specific things I'm going to change, that are some small details to some of these big picture discipline goals......and perhaps I will share some of them soon.  But for now, this is my goal for 2014: KICK LAZINESS IN THE BUTT!

" Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think."   (Romans 12:2 NLT  is my theme verse for the year.)