Easy, you say?

I have four children.  Each a different story in their "delivery" to our home.  Eden is my natural birth (and by natural I mean came through my woman parts---I still had an epideral (hollah!)) and also the only time we didn't know the sex of the baby before she came, Eli is my "he's so big we better get this started" induction that ended in a c-section (not to mention a state wide move at 7.5 months pregnant), Tobe is my planned c-section w/ a side order of gestational diabetes (and a good "let's scare you with some good 'ole genetic counseling as well), and Chloe is the longest expectancy that I have of course experienced and if you have followed my blog you know our timeline to bring her home.

There are a few blogs out there that talk about some of the insensitive things people say (many times unintentionally) when talking to adoptive families.  So since it is usually unintentional, the only way to combat it is to educate.  But this insensitive comment hasn't been mentioned in any of those blogs and yet with some troubling news within the Ethiopian program, I feel the need to write about it.  I know I'm not the only one to hear it.  I had a friend who experienced it:

"At urgent care with K this evening the nurse asks me "Is she adopted?" I replied "yes". The nurse replies "Could you not have kids of your own?" I laughed (at the ignorance of the words "your own") and said "something like that." She replies "Guess you took the easy way out...huh?"

Oh sister....the words that wanted to come out of my mouth. Thankfully I love Jesus...that's all I am saying!"

Then, some time in our last four months (it kind of can become a  blur).  Those words were addressed to me.  I can remember sitting down with this person and them asking about Chloe and with none of my biological kids in eyesight and she asked the same question. Actually it wasn't a question at all, it was an assumption formulated as a statement. "Oh you went the easy route."  I do have the pleasure of experiencing both giving birth and adopting and I can tell you with full assurance, I believe Chloe was my most difficult to bring home. And I am not just talking about a 17 hour plane ride. 

And right now I am hurting for some of my friends.  I am hurting for my friends with 3 kids that share their last name (for 8 months now), that accepted their kiddos' referrals OVER 3 years ago, but are still living on different continents.  I am hurting for the friend who is fighting with our embassy for her 2 kids to come home to an unplanned time line. I am hurting for friends who are waiting on clarity from God on how to proceed with their adoptions and answers don't come quickly.  I am hurting for the friend who has a picture of her son but no idea if she will ever get to bring him home due to unethical people beyond her control. I am hurting for the friend who has been waiting for 30 months to see a picture/referral with no end in sight when she was told when they first started the time frame was less than a "normal" pregnancy (I thought 24 months was HARD).  I am hurting for so many friends that were waiting on the next step, the anticipation of meeting their kids face to face and saying "yes" in court and now are on hold.  Friends, it is anything but easy.

The roller coaster of emotions is still there.  Even if you are not having morning sickness, hormones elevated, and a growing belly.    There is still "yuck" to deal with.  I remember thinking of a lot of "not fair" moments. Doubt and questioning whether you are with the right agency. Perhaps even opposition from family and friends. There was "yuck" not only in what seemed to me to be never ending "waiting" and hearing our child's story for the first time, but bringing them home and dealing with grief, loss, transition, culture shock, development after being in an orphanage with absolutely no stimulation, attachment disorders, learning a new language, not understanding an old language, food issues, sleep issues,etc and all these issues often come without having any background knowlege and the disadvantage of maybe never knowing where they stem from.  Many people deal with many of these adoption related issues. And some of that is just with international adoptions.  Fostering adds a whole new set of hard circumstances. Friends, it is anything but easy.

I won't pretend to know what it feels like to not have carried a baby in my womb.  I hurt for friends who longed for this and know it isn't a reality for them.  I know from talking to many of them that they struggled with infertility for years before bringing their blessing home.  They may have babies in heaven. The emotions that come with all of that.  They cried out to God.  They paid doctors fees and more fees for a chance at that pregnancy.  They were eventually led to adoption by God. We don't always have the answers to the "why's" in this life, but thank God my friends answered the call to experience family in this way.  Yet, it was anything but easy. 

I'm sure had this lady seen my 3 biological children, she might not have made that comment.  In a way, even though it angers me, it gave me the ever so slightest glimpse into the mama's heart that came to adoption because they couldn't  biologically have kids and I am grateful.  I applaud those mama's and those dada's.  I know it isn't easy and yet throughout my time waiting, I had 3 little distractions that I know must have eased some of my waiting pain.  Your lack of distraction and solely thinking of the life you are trying to bring home is not unnoticed by me.

And there is one more group of people.  Those that chose to adopt first.  Not because they couldn't have biological children, but simply because they wanted to start their family in this way.  And I know from some of their stories, it still wasn't easy. 

The final group reminds me of someone.  God Almighty.

"Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son."    
                                                                   Ephesians 1: 4-6

Even though God chose us before the world, even though he decided in advance to adopt us into His family-----It still wasn't easy.  Because we know this: "For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son.....". Christ was tortured for us.  He was humiliated for us.  He was spit on, mocked, and forgotten by his friends for us.  He carried the cross for us. He shed his blood for us. He died for us.  He took on our sin for us.  He fought Satan for us.  The end result? Family. Heaven. Salvation. Promises Fulfilled.  The road to get there? Loss. Grief. Abandonment. Betrayal. Leaving his home. Hard.

Adoption is forever family, beautiful, worth the wait, a picture of God, faith strengthening and exhilirating (did I say worth it?).  It is also anything, but easy.



***DISCLAIMER [I hate that I feel the need to write a disclaimer.  But these days, people go misunderstood.  I want you to know I am not negating the "hard" that comes with our own pregnancies.  I know many people that have very high risk pregnancies and many that worked very hard with many trials to get there.  It is also anything, but easy.  But as one that has experienced both and as women, I know we don't want to be insensitive....I simply write this to educate that adoption is a different road, one that is not easy, and yet the results of entering into motherhood are the same.  Let's treat the mothers that entered into motherhood through adoption with the same respect.]

A letter to our friends & family---

Dear friends & family,

This is sort of tough to write, but it is very much needed....especially because of the outpouring of love that has been shown our Chloe from family members, friends across the country, but especially our local friends and church family.  You are the ones that have in essence brought Chloe home....and now we have to share what may seem like initially "bad"news.  But in the end this is the best for Chloe and I know in my heart of hearts that is what you want too.

So.....after three years of waiting and pursuing and longing and praying for Chloe, it is time to bring her home.  (Can I get a Hallelujah?!)  I know we can never thank you enough for the love, support, encouragement, financial assistance, friendship and prayers over the past 3 years.  It has been a long, hard journey however, we would be naive to think the "hard" is over.  The real challenge is still ahead of us (transitioning her into our family and raising her)!

So the hard part is telling you how our family is going to work for the next few weeks or even months. And it is not meant to be offensive, but rather to give you all a heads up and hopefully a few answers to the "why"s of our next phase if you will.  Please read these not as suggestions but rather heartfelt requests from us as we transition (and feel free to share what you know to non-blog readers who may think we've disappeared from the planet or have become non-people people).  Also other adoptive friends may or may not have done something similar, every adoption is so different in circumstances, that what one family may feel the need to do another will not.....This is what we are choosing for our family.

1.  We will practice a common process in the adoption world called "cocooning".  It has been shown to provide lifelong benefits to the child, specifically in the areas of relationships, identity, and development. So you may not see us much at first. We are going to hunker down in our home.  Our number one priority is to our daughter and building a strong bond with her. It's so important to teach her that we are her parents and that Eden, Eli, and Tobe are her siblings. It is criticial that this bond happens before she bonds with any other family or friends. The way we will do this is by staying home for a couple of weeks {or longer} until we feel that Chloe is ready to be introduced to other places. Why?

Chloe has been a blessed little girl. So far, she has been given very good care by every adult in her life both at the orphanage and the transition home. However, her little brain is learning that EVERY adult person in her life will take care of her. For her safety and also her ability to form good relationships later in life, we need to teach her to trust a few people, and then slowly let others into her life. We want her to know that we are "It" for her. She is not going to be passed off to any other care givers.  So that even means the church nursery, MOPS, no date nights for a while with our wonderful teens, until we know that there has been a good attachment to us as her parents.

2. Please be patient with us.  When we finally do leave the house, we still may stay "where ever" for shorter periods of time, arrive late and leave early.  As one friend put it "good-bye may need to be implied".  And when we make it to church or to Target or the grocery store where there are SO many of you lovely people, I will be wearing Chloe in a carrier.  This promotes additional bonding b/w her & I.  Plus it will help her from getting over-whelmed with new environments that could be over-stimulating. This also keeps others from holding her or touching her a lot. This may seem harsh and I know this will be tough at first, but we promise you, it will only last for a season and it’s the best for Chloe.  Why?

Please keep in mind that Chloe's view of the world is currently limited to one room (besides the couch room where we were able to snuggle with her).......but normally she is confined to her crib room (with bare walls) and 10 other toddlers and a couple of toys that are shared between them. Places and people will be all new to our girl.  It is not going to be hard for her to be over-stimulated.

3.  We will do some things with Chloe that will look more like what we would do with a baby than what we should do with a toddler. Although Chloe is 18 months, her "family age" will begin when we pick her up from the orphanage. By the very nature of being in an orphanage, there are things done that are very "babyish" with her. We will not potty train as early as we did with our other kids. And even though we thought she was potty trained, it will actually be good to change diapers, play baby games, and give lots of eye contact. We will continue to feed her very much like a baby {she still takes bottles and eats cereal}, introducing new foods through baby food and working up to solid food. We will also hold her and carry her and rock her as much as she will tolerate.  Why?  There are two ways to look at child's age: Chronological Age and Family Age. Her chronological age is 18 months but her family age is just beginning.  These things are essential to the bonding process and partly because she has not had that kind of care that all babies deserve in order to form and understand long-lasting, unconditional relationships.

4. Chris and I will need to meet all of Chloe's needs. If she needs fed, changed, held, rocked, disciplined, or helped, we will need to do all of that for quite a while. For those of you who will come to visit, please do not try to meet any of her needs as this is, again, essential to her bonding with us.
 This may be exhausting and so different from how we handled our biological kids. For example, if she trips and falls at the park, it is crucial that you send her to us to comfort her or give her the bandaid . She will try to get her needs met by anyone who is willing, so until she realizes Chris and I are different from everyone else we need to meet those needs exclusively. We have to set up these safe boundaries until she can figure out how to make them for herself. We know this is against your normal instincts and even mine, that is why we are sending this out in advance so you know our expectations and know how you can help us when we’re together. Why?

It's easy to think that she is adapting so well when you see adopted children happy with strangers, smiling and getting other's attention. But at this point, those things would actually still be signs they have not figured out who we are, as their mom and dad. In their short lives, they've had many care givers. They will likely see us as simply another set of care givers for quite awhile. But we're trusting over time, they'll come to understand what it means that we are Mommy and Daddy to them and Eden, Eli, & Tobe are siblings.

5. When we discipline Chloe, it will look different than how we discipline our other children. We must do everything we can to build our bonds with our little girl, which includes how we discipline her. We will be employing a method called "time in," which basically means that we will hold her and calm her while we correct the misbehavior. This may look exhausting (and it probably is)  or like it is not the most straight-forward method of discipline, but this has been a proven method of effective discipline for adopted children. Why? Well there are lots of pyschological reasons for this, but one of the ones off the top of my head is that any orphan has a lot of loss and subsequently grief that they deal with.  Sending them away from us for a time out or taking away a lot of things may not be beneficial for a while and actually backwards from our ultimate goal of them feeling like they belong.

6. Chloe is not a celebrity.  That sounds kind of harsh too.  I want to show her off, I want to share in the testimony of how faithful God has been to us. But at the same time, taking photos of just our adopted child or pouring attention on her while ignoring our other children is not healthy for anyone. The child who is receiving all of the attention often feels singled out and siblings quickly become resentful. We appreciate all of the love and support that we were shown during our adoption process and we know that everyone is excited to meet her.  Especially since most people know Chris and I due to ministry, please take cues and be very sensitive to this (like in the church hallway).

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

There are specific ways we could use your support:

1. Meals - if you would like to cook a meal for our family, we welcome it. We're going to have a grueling journey back home with an infant who is taking her first plane ride with (virtually) complete strangers who don't speak her language. God help us and all the passengers on those flights home! We will come back exhausted and jet-lagged (hopefully with no ankle or feet issues) and our little blossom will be on a timezone 8 hours ahead of us. I imagine the first week that we'll all pretty much be in a fog.  My wonderful MOPS group and a church friend will be coordinating meals so if you wish, message me and I will get you in contact with them. And if you are literally one of the first, please don't be offended when we may ask to "drop and run". I have no idea what the first week will be like.  

2.  If you do bring a meal or just come to visit please be aware of the previously mentioned things. For the first few weeks, if you come to our house, we ask that you please call first. We do not want more than one family here at a time so as not to overwhelm anyone. We also ask that you plan for the visit to be quick. We will not feel comfortable asking you to leave, so please just do that on your own. If you come, feel free to bring your kids with you as the big 3 would love to see their friends :)

3. Companionship -  I might go crazy trying to lay low and stay near home so much. (Seriously--HUGE prayer need--pretty sure I've never stayed home).  We might feel isolated and out of the loop with our friends. We might feel tired and overwhelmed and in need of distraction.  Chris and I can possibly tag team and sneak away at times for a treat and breath of fresh air. Or if you are a parent to  one of Eden, Eli, or Tobe's friends please feel free to sneak them away too.  They too will be going through some adjustment.

4. Prayer - We need you to be praying for us and Chloe in this time. This transition is critical in her development as a person, and the things we do with her as she enters our family will lay the groundwork for relationships for her for the rest of her life. No pressure there! We need prayers for wisdom, patience, and selflessness. Also prayers for all the siblings as they transition and patience as they witness the "hard".  Pray they won't feel neglected and especially Tobe who for 5.5 years has been my "baby". (sniff, sniff)

5. Check-ins - Please leave us voicemails, emails, texts, fb messages, or good óle snail mail  just to let us know you're thinking of us, praying for us, or available to help. Even if we don't respond to your messages, we will receive them and they will be a comfort to us. 

6. We are weak and need your help to stay strong. Both Chris and I are people pleasers to some extent. Now that you know our plan, please don't ask us to break this plan.  Stay strong and hold us accountable too. Ask us if that's what we really want, and remind us of why we're doing what we're doing. We need your help to stick to the plan!

If you have any questions feel free to ask and we will do our best to answer. Remember all of this is super new to us too and we'll probably make a lot of mistakes. But we thank you so much for praying with us through it and for the grace you'll extend to us along the way! We love you all and can't wait for you to meet our newest addition to the Strickland Family!

BTW, Chloe has already been adopted, once she is home....she does not get adopted over and over again, she will be part of our forever family and one of the four greatest blessings God has granted us.  Thanks for listening to my sentiments and may God be glorified!

For further reading, check out these links:

 *****JEN HATMAKER'S  "How to be the Village" (skip to the After the Airport part)

 

Bringing Home a New Child - Cocoon

More of Day 3 (Meetcha Day)

So that you can see her smile....a little more for your viewing pleasure.....

 

 

 

 

So we had limited resources in our little room for the day.....

so we are well aware that she has "food" on her face.  :) 

Ethiopia: Day 3 of 9. August 2nd.

MEETCHA DAY!

 

 We arrived a bit late at 8 am or so.  We made it through customs & immigration.  All of our luggage was there (praise!) and headed outside to meet our driver.  It was rainy.  (Rainy season in full swing). 

 

By the time we make it to our guest house, the adrenaline is rushing and we think we are going to meet Miss Chloe any minute.  We meet another CHI family right off the bat (actually had met online and communicated and were able to bring some motion sickness medicine for their sweet 10 year old).  Then our driver told us we would be picked up by our agency at 3:30-4:00.  What?  We had to wait 6+ hours???  We were a bit frustrated, but didn't want to rock any boat and start off our trip with complaints.  So we settled into our room and laid down to take a nap.  About the time we fell asleep (maybe 30 minutes later), we get a call from the front desk that our driver was waiting on us!  Apparently, Addis has it's own time!  So 3:30 meant 9:30 and we were on our way, albeit very tired now after a tease of a nap.  What we had waited for.........................................................

 

  

 



Daddy's little girl!

Little Miss Serious

  


As you can see she cried for about 20 seconds.  Then we cuddled, she fell asleep on us, we slept a little ourselves, we fed her, we changed her, we played, we may have dozed off again (remember the 24 hour like flight)  all in all the day was perfect. 

 

 

 

 



Ethiopia: Day 2 of 9. August 1st.

Well this is kind of our "lost" day.  We flew from DC (Dulles International Airport) directly to Ethiopia on Ethiopian Airlines.  The flight itself was (only) 14 hours.  But add the 8 hours we lost to the time change and you have almost a full day.  We arrived in Ethiopia on the 2nd.  So this was a lot of movie watching, music listening, should have been reading time. 



Our gate was right below the Ethiopian flag!  How convenient!

          

Ready to board in 10 minutes.  Ethiopia or bust!

Our airline.

Just getting started!

 So by far our favorite movie was 42. We had not seen it yet and watched it for the first time.  Here we were headed to Africa.  I couldn't help but be grateful for how far we've come.  And I sincerely THANK courageous people like Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey who paved the way. And that was 15 some years before Martin Luther King's famous freedom speech. I am so grateful for MLK and his dream:

 

 

"I have a dream that one day....little black boys and black girls will be able

 to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers."

MLK 8.28.63

 

This sister and these brothers are ready to join hands, Miss Chloe.  We are coming!

 

Ethiopia: Day 1 of 9. July 31st

OK, well on day 1 we actually were not yet in Ethiopia.  But as I am wanting to share details of our trip I feel like I can't leave out day 1.

Day 1 is when we left Missouri.  Sure we only made it to DC, but we were starting on our adventure.  Is this really happening?  We've been waiting for 2.5 years and now we are on our way !!!  Pinch me.  Lots of emotions running through me.  Will we like our guest house?  Will they have electricity?  Does our luggage weigh too much?  What did I forget to pack? 

Also we left Missouri and our 3 big kids were still there.  So blessed to have the Gerdel family (truly our family) take care of my babies.  I wouldn't have it any other way---well except for maybe their doting grandparents :)  (which plan to on trip 2).  I knew we were going to be away from them for what seemed like a long while and that was going to be hard.

Day 1: Sitting at STL airport ready to board for DC!

This post (as we headed to DC) is to simply say THANK YOU.  Thank you to those that have gotten us here.  These past 2 years, you've encouraged, supported, financed, helped, baked, ran,  bought, donated, prayed, and encouraged some more.  The time had finally come.    We do have one adoptive friend who at one point said we should have called our 5K, C.H.L.O.E's run (or fund)....CHLOE standing for  the Church Helping Love Others for Eternity!!!  What a great reminder of when we give, tell, offer hope, encourage we are making an eternal difference.  Not only is Chloe receiving her forever family....she has the opportunity to receive Jesus as Lord & Savior and to have a new family for all eternity (and that does mean most of YOU will be her family)!

So to all of you thankyou....But on the 31st special thanks to Missy and Andrew who love my kids like their own, Jessica and Ryan who sacrificially kept our dog (huge sacrifice of yard and perhaps of non-scratched legs), Tyann Marcink and Amy Lanemann for watching our kids when Missy couldn't, Mark and Becky Baxa, Dr. Turner, and everyone else sending up prayers on our behalf as we headed off to meet our daughter!!!

We're on our way, Chloe!

A piece of my heart is so far away.....

Where do we even begin?  I will update with some daily Ethiopia journaling soon (maybe in a week or so once school starts).  We have one full week before school, which includes school shopping (since we have been preoccupied), a little boy turning 8 years old---(I guess that is not so little) :(, and another little boy starting Kindergarten.  agh!!!  (Let the water works begin!)  Today has been such a blessed day (albeit a little tiring) to be reunited with our 3 big kids and love on them.  9 days is a long time to be away.  Tobe said, "I was starting to forget this place."  (our house!)

Meanwhile, a piece of our heart is in Ethiopia.  This part of the wait is supposedly the hardest.  I don't know that yet, I am sure it will be.  I am still suffering from jetlag (i.e. it is 5:30 am and I'm up--which NEVER happens).  But I do know that she is so loved where she is at and is being taken care of until we return and that makes it easier.  Also, knowing I have LOTS to do in the next 5-8 weeks like all things mentioned in paragraph 1, as well as bedroom remodel of the "sisters" room, and sadly me being one more year closer to 40!  I am to the point that I am forgetting what age I am.  LOL!

Some people are still confused.  Chloe is not home.  This process is long and hard.  Every country, every program a bit different with lots of processes and bureacacy.  And it is ever changing.  It has changed multiple times while we've been in the process, and is about to change again (thanking God we beat that deadline).  Chloe is a Strickland according to Ethiopia.  But now we must wait for the US Embassy to say "come back-- she is cleared to immigrate into the USA".  So we wait.....this can be anywhere from 5-10 weeks.  Hopefully shorter. 



So pray as we wait (our final wait!!!)  to go back.......and I promise to post some of our Ethiopian adventures soon-----as most of you know....we have "some".

Why Am I Surprised? {and kind of a HUGE clarification}

 

¹² When this had dawned on him[Peter], he went to the house of Mary the mother of John, also called Mark, where many people had gathered and were praying. ¹³ Peter knocked at the outer entrance, and a servant named Rhoda came to answer the door. ¹⁴ When she recognized Peter’s voice, she was so overjoyed she ran back without opening it and exclaimed, “Peter is at the door!”

¹⁵ “You’re out of your mind,” they told her. When she kept insisting that it was so, they said, “It must be his angel.”

¹⁶ But Peter kept on knocking, and when they opened the door and saw him, they were astonished.

{Acts 12:12-16}

 

Interesting story from Acts.  Here the church is praying, God answers quickly and miraculously, and the people are like "Say What?"....sound like anyone?  ME!  I cannot  believe that we have a court date exactly one month after our referral date.  I prayed for it, I asked you to pray for it, I knew God could do it,and I said He could do it out loud.  But, even still when things were moving along, I was a bit taken back.  We had heard rumor that courts were closing Aug 6th (not even sure if this is true or not)---so my thought was that God would just prolong the court closing for a week or two so that we could still sneak in. {Insert here: His ways are not my ways!(Isaiah 55:8)}  Instead, Chris & I witness the fastest to date (at least in the 2.5 years I've been on our agency's email list) referral to court!!! 

 

THANK YOU FRIENDS FOR  PRAYING!!!  THANK YOU FOR BEING THE CHURCH!!!

 

Now what?? We head to Ethiopia to meet Chloe in person this week.  We will get to meet her, the wonderful nannies that have been caring for her, we will experience and enjoy where she has lived the first 15 months of her life, see where she stayed, and soak up Ethiopian culture.  We get to worship God on Sunday in Ethiopia.  Then we will stand in front of a judge and say "YES!" to Chloe.  Hopefully at this point, the judge will declare her our daughter and then we will be able to introduce publicly the newest Strickland.

 But here's the bad news--I know many of you know this, but to clarify for those that don't--  We do NOT get to bring Chloe home yet, the hardest part of the wait (as if I thought 24 months was hard) will be when we leave Ethiopia without her.  We will come home, she will continue to be loved on by her nannies and we will pray again for the quick turnaround for Visa processing and our US Embassy saying we can come back and bring her home. 

 

PRAYER NEEDS:

1) Please pray for our safety, health, and smooth traveling.  It has been such a whirlwind, a bit crazy, pray I pack everything we need and that our stomachs stay well.  :) 

2) Please pray for our big kids here with family friends.  Being away from Eden, Eli, & Tobe while on a completely different continent and 8 hours ahead will be a bit different.  Just pray they also stay healthy and that the families they are with are blessed for their sacrifice to our family. {We LOVE you!}

3) Pray for Chloe.  Pray for her health and continued safety.  Pray for the House of Hope, the transition home she is in now. Pray for all the transition that she is going through and has gone through.  Our daughter has been through so much in her short life and that cannot be forgotten.  Adoption is beautiful and redeeming, yet it is born out of tragedy, loss, and grief.  We are not sharing all of Chloe's story to every person.  But if you read this blog here you will read similarities and some of the possible struggles that Chloe has gone through and will go through.  (I will post more on this before bringing Chloe home---but for now this is a good starting point---and for all I know may not be us at all, but the orphanage visitors is a fact and a definite issue we will deal with).
4) Pray that in all things God gets the glory.  He has answered prayers in mighty ways and is continuing to work all things out.  He cares for the orphan, He cares for the lonely, He cares for families, and He cares for YOU!  Praise God for the things He has done. 



"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

{Ephesians 3:20-21}

 

 

Dear Chloe, We're coming baby girl!  Can't wait to meet you, hold you, play with you, and say "YES" for you!  Oh boy and your sister and brothers are so excited too.  See you on Friday!  Love, Mama & Dada

At Last!

This song was what Chris and I walked down the aisle to once we were pronounced husband and wife.  It fit, plus it was a super classy song and Chris wouldn't go for anything that wasn't classy.  :)
As I listen to the words, it seems to fit in our current situation just perfectly.  It is a love song that fits here in the adoption world as well.  It might be even more perfect when she is home at last, but none the less.

At last, our call came on Friday, July 5, 2013.  The last day it could have come on so as to not cross the 2 year wait mark, since July 7th, which is a Sunday this year is our Waitaversary.  This is how it went down----

Every year over the 4th of July we camp with our dearest friends, the Gerdel's and Missy's mom and family.  Most of the time it is miserably hot and yet we make it fun, plus we usually include a float trip on the Meremac River.  We've camped at least 6 years---floated at least 3.  A few months ago, Chris and I decided financially we just didn't want to float this year.   So we actually said it out loud so that we would stick to that decision.  However, the Gerdel kiddos were upset that our kids wouldn't be floating with them, so we let our two big kids go along and promised Tobe a day of hiking and one on one swim time.  He was a bit sad, but then was excited.  Of course on the 4th our agency was closed, so we had a peaceful, wonderful time watching fireworks and swimming, and yet in all of our minds was the possibility of a referral the next day (and thinking THAT's why we didn't float!)  So we sent off our floating friends and after a bit headed off to go on our hike---

However, we no sooner got out of the camp grounds and into a place where phone reception actually came in and we got the call!!!!  It was so great that the call came through, because service was sketchy.  I heard our agency give a few details, then the call was dropped, we try again, and the call was dropped, finally it rang once more and I just said loudly "We are coming in!!!!"  See we live near CHI's headquarters and the entire time since we are at STL family we thought we would be driving in to see our referral packet.  We were about another hour out, but we just knew we needed to drive in and get this packet today!!!!  I tried to text Missy before she got on the raft, but missed her.

So....we drive in---see the most beautiful pictures of our beautiful girl and are just thrilled!!!  We spent the afternoon oohing and awing over her and let some family and friends in on our news, but waited to show her pic to her big brother and sister first.  Once we showed Eden & Eli (of course Tobe got to be the first), we got to share with the Gerdel's (who if you recall Missy was the one who jumpstarted all of our fundraising efforts by giving up her bday gifts and running 30 miles for her 30th bday for Chloe)......so just because God likes to put the icing on the cake---guess who share the same bday?????  YEP.  One year after Missy's run, our little Chloe was born.  Another friend pointed out, our Chloe has been along with us in this wait the entire time!!!!  Chloe is 15 months old right now, if you add the 9 months during birth mom's pregnancy---you get our 24 month wait!  Chloe began life as we began our wait!!!!!  Just amazing.  All my adoptive mom friends continued to tell me, His perfect timing (which I believed), but man I couldn't even imagine some of the "coincidences" that God has orchestrated so that I know He had this in His hands the entire time.

So to finish off our Friday night we got to make our fun announcement video.  :)  We didn't get to post till the next day because of the sketchy service.  But we were so excited to share with our church family today what God has done and praise His name.  Like I've said many times before, the church (and not just our home church) but THE church has helped bring Chloe home via prayers and funds.  This has been a joint effort. 

<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=10201372703498032" width="226" height="400" frameborder="0"></iframe>

WHAT'S NEXT???
Court.  Adopting from Ethiopia is a two trip process.  First trip is court and second is embassy process.  So.....CHURCH here is the prayer need.  I've mentioned before Ethiopia has a rainy season, where courts just close down.  This usually happens mid August.  Now realistically we probably won't make it to court before then, which means we wouldn't make our first trip till mid October.  BUT, our God works miraculously and ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE with Him.  There have been some that have moved through this quickly and there are plenty that don't.  Would you please pray consistently that we could make it to court BEFORE it closes?

***Sidenote:  There are rules and regulations that prohibit us from sharing any identifiable info on Chloe until she is officially ours when we pass court.  So no pictures online and her Ethiopian name will not be posted online.  We will use her Ethiopian name as part of her name.....

We can't even begin to thank you all for the prayers and well wishes and prayers and so forth for our family and our daughter.  We will keep you updated!  Thanks for listening.

Then & NOW..........

THEN-----July 7, 2011.  We started on the wait list. I blogged about it HERE
 and actually said it could be "two weeks or two years"......I said that?????



NOW----July 7, 2013.  My kids around our referral packet, CELEBRATING
 finally having a face to the sister they have been praying for!

Braxton Hicks.....

I have never fully been in labor until after already being at the hospital.  Eden was two days overdue and I went in because I had a high leak and then went into labor after much walking in the hospital that day.  Eli was induced on his due date and by noon we all figured out we weren't getting anywhere and with his estimated weight we ended up having a c-section.  Tobe was a repeated c-section a week before his due date. So I never had the contractions or the false labor or the "should we go to the hospital now?" feeling.  I never even had serious braxton hicks contractions.

Well leave it to the non-pregnancy to have my first braxton hicks (metaphorically speaking).  Anyways, the two real life friend couples that we have visited with got their referral when they were #13.  Did I mention WE are #13?  I also know that after the most recent referrals we may be at #1 or #2 for a toddler.  Just can't really know for sure, several people in front of us want sibling groups or an infant baby.   So it literally could be any day, but it also could be several months.  (Of course, that is making it very different from a pregnancy b/c there is no official due date in sight----I posted about our "expectancy" a long time ago HERE). 

So I am super excited and yet super crazy all at the same time.  I had several daydream scenarios today playing out in my head about how it could/would go down {today, mind you}.  And yet it did not.  I'm afraid I could have these scenarios daily....so I NEED prayer.

I really have no clue how to stop my brain....besides my friends covering me in prayer.  I can't imagine doing this for several months.  So here are a few specific prayer requests:

1.  Continue to pray for our hearts, minds, and patience as we continue to wait for our referral day and see her sweet face for the first time.  (From any day to still several months)

2.  Pray for a QUICK referral.  Ethiopia courts close from mid August thru October due to rainy season. In essence, the court process just stops.  Referrals can still be made and those that made it to court can still be processed on thru embassy....SO my prayer is that if a referral is coming soon that it would come in time that we could make it to court at beginning of August.  (this would be somewhat miraculous at this point---to put things in perspective our friends who got their referral on Feb. 27th probably will go to court at the beginning to mid June---so we are running out of time).  The downfall???  Well it just means when we do get that referral we will have a 2 month longer wait period before we ever get to see her in person because court at the earliest will be late October.

3.  Continue to pray for our hearts, minds, and patience as we continue to wait for our referral day and see her sweet face for the first time. (From any day to still several months)  {Oh wait, I already said that didn't I?  :)  Well I truly mean it.)

Thank you for following along on our journey. 

21 Month Waitaversary

We have reached 21 Months.....

We have REACHED 21 Months......

We have reached 21 MONTHS.......

WE have reached 21 Months.......

We HAVE reached 21 Months......

I guess any way you say it---it means the same thing.  We are still waiting.  The last family that moved us up to #14 was actually #11 on the list.  So I am having heart palpitations these days.  :)
Of course the good kind.  So please pray.  It can literally be any day to still several months away.  It would be miraculous to not have a post with 22 months???  Am I right???

One reason is because on May 11th--(Saturday before Mother's Day) we are having our 3rd Annual Love 2 Run 4 Love....I would love to show her picture off.  (Cause unfortunately all you non-local peeps that are following our story will not get to see her picture till after our first trip to Africa and we pass court). 

So if you are in the Franklin County area at all please come join us for this 5K run/walk....It will benefit TWO sweet Ethiopians.....(us and the Krammel family).  Message me for a registration form.  Deadline for our fun t-shirt is April 25th!!! So sign up today. 

Dear Precious Daughter,

We are waiting for you.  We cannot wait until God puts you in our lap and we get to see your face.  We are praying for your health, your caregivers, your country, and your birth family.  Your brothers and sister are praying for you too.  They cannot wait to add you to our crazy family.  You are worth the wait---we already know that.  God has big plans for your life and I cannot wait to see how you are going to bloom.   His love is amazing and I can't quite understand how He loves you more than we do.....but He DOES!!!!

Love,
Your Mommy-to-Be

Truth is.....

     So I've never been the best meditator, but this adoption process has had me chewing on some different verses and scriptures the last year (or two).  I like chewing on a piece of scripture and coming back to it again and again and seeing that it rings true.  There are days where I can be so encouraged and on cloud nine one day thinking things are moving along quite nicely----the next week thinking "uh....it is so slow".....and discouraged. 
    I know everything is in His perfect timing--but it is hard to live by that rule.  Even tonight Chris mentioned a wedding he may do in December.  I asked if he mentioned Africa---ugh....did I really say that....surely she will be home way before December??? 

    Anyways, back to Truth.  Truth is.........

The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.  Exodus 14:14

5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. 6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 7 My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.   Psalm 62:5-8

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

^12-13 Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner........So if you find life difficult because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he’s doing, and he’ll keep on doing it.
 1 Peter 4:12-13,19

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways ackowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5

³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. ⁴ For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love ⁵ he^[b] predestined us for adoption to sonship^[c] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— ⁶ to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.  Ephesians 1:3-6

So we can say with confidence, "The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?" Hebrews 13:6

    "How great is the Love the Father has lavished on us, that we should
be called children of God. And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1

¹ In you, Lord my God,
I put my trust.

² I trust in you;
do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
³ No one who hopes in you
will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.

⁴ Show me your ways, Lord,
teach me your paths.
⁵ Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
⁶ Remember, Lord, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.
⁷ Do not remember the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you, Lord, are good.     Psalm 25

 

The Truth is....God is good.  God is faithful. God is loving and worth our trust.  He brings hope. He brings rest. He is our refuge and mighty rock. He builds my character. He is guiding.   He is working.  He is fighting. He is salvation.  He alone.

 

What verses have you been meditating on?  Care to share? 

GOD IS GOOD! {+20 Month Waitiversary!}

Today marks 20 months on the wait list.  Officially the time span of two full term pregnancies.  There has been such good news though and HOPE that things are picking up.  We just had our first 3-referral day at the end of Feb. since April of 2011.  They added 3 orphanages (1 main and 2 branches) to the 3 our agency already has been working with....and I have been told that there are several toddlers at these orphanages.  All 3 boy referrals came from this main orphanage---so excited to see the quick turn around there.  I keep thinking God is going to give me a little toddler girl---so we shall see (we are requesting anywhere from 0-4 years). 

The cool thing is our dear friends that live near us in the STL metro area were one of those referrals.  They have been waiting patiently for God to give them their FIRST child and how excited I was when they got their call!!!  To be honest, there are people who get their referrals at #2, #4, #13, #19, and even into the 20's for older children.  SO.....that being said.....IT COULD BE ANY WEEK.  I think I may be #5-6 for a toddler girl, BUT then again it could be 6 more months.  The #2 spot is waiting on a girl and has been waiting for 26 plus months.  So pray for our patience as we wait and try not to stalk the internet each and every day. 

But even today brought movement:  We are .................................

 

 

God is good ALL the time and ALL the time God is good!!! 

I'm learning more and more about Him and me and Chris and my other kiddos each and every day. 

 

 

So......KEEP PRAYING and if you walk (doesn't everyone?)  :)   try to join the Strickland's and our friends--the Kramel's at the 3rd ANNUAL LOVE 2 RUN 4 LOVE. 

You will be helping bring 2 Ethopian babes home to their FOREVER families. 

 

DETAILS HERE



Kings & Queens

I use to be an avid reader.  These days it seems all I read are facebook statuses and lots of blogs.  But most recently I actually finished a book that has been on my sidetable for at least a year.  I read MaryBeth Chapman's "Choosing to SEE".  I do recommend it, but be ready for laughter and tears.  She wrote some funny stuff and then some gut wrenching "Why God?" stuff.  I believe the overall theme is "Trust God" especially when your plans are not going exactly as you planned.  Appropriate for us, huh?

Then I started Kisses from Katie.  Ugh!  I only have read 3 chapters and boy I can't believe a 22 year old single college girl can convict me so much.  But the night that I read quite a bit I was out of town and could NOT sleep.  For the first time, I had a different longing for my girl.  It was a "Please, she needs to be home now" kind of a feeling, more than our normal, "Please, I want her home now." 

We are getting closer.  I know it.  I know that God is fighting for us and her.  And Ethiopia.  And ALL His people all over the world.  I fear that at times my friends our sick of me and our continual, not-ending-anytime-soon story.  I do believe we are more than this adoption....But sometimes as I shared recently it is SO hard to not just be about the adoption.  All the time.  After 19 months waiting and a 6 month paper chase, it is like I have almost been "pregnant" 3 times as long.  When you are in your final semester and you feel huge and can't eat very much and can't sleep well, it is hard to forget you are pregnant and it is hard not to think about it.  So it is for us as well and yet at this point, my due date has changed drastically---actually I really don't have a due date yet. Anyways, every song on the radio, every sermon my pastor preaches, every blog and book I read now just points to our journey in a blaring way. 

And yet I am continuing to learn.  I'm not sure I can articulate all that God is teaching me.  I know I am memorizing more of His word (although that may be due to Eden's Bible Bowl as well).  I know I am learning what faith means and trust.  And spiritual warfare.  And the all encompassing love the Father has for me. 

                   "How great is the Love the Father has lavished on us, that we should
                         be called children of God.  And that is what we are!"  1 John 3:1

Disclaimer:  I sat on this for 24 hours letting it settle and planning on publishing this post on our 19 month waitiversary (tomorrow).  And then God had me chewing on something for a bit today.  IT IS ALL ABOUT ADOPTION.  Not our particular adoption, or all of our friends adoptions, but THE adoption we all recieve into Christ's family.

              ³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. ⁴ For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love ⁵ he^[b] predestined us for adoption to sonship^[c] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— ⁶ to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. ⁷ In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace ⁸ that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, ⁹ he^[d] made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, ¹⁰ to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. 
Ephesians 1: 3-10

  It has been about adoption since the beginning of time.  He loved us that much he knew he wanted to adopt each and every one of us.  He came down and loved "the least of these" which was me--- and dear friend which was you so that we could become Kings & Queens.  So with that in mind, I am sure you have heard the song.....but if you have not watched the video PLEASE do so HERE. 



Melkam Genna! (+ 18 months waiting)

 

Well a year and a half on our agency's waitlist.  It was 2 years ago on Jan 3rd that we sent our application and started this process officially.  And it has been 18 months since we've just been waiting.  About 12 more months than we ever imagined.  8 months at that time was a decent wait.  But none the less, we will continue to wait until God puts her in our lap and we see her face for the first time.

We are getting closer and that gives us lots of HOPE.  We got Chloe a bunch of Christmas ornaments and hair bows this year to let her know we were thinking of her at Christmas.  Today (our 18 month mark) is actually Christmas in Ethiopia (Melkam Genna!).  Such a rich history of Christianity in Ethiopia.  Legend has it that King Balthazar was from Ethiopia and was one of the magi who presented frankinscence to our Lord when they came to worship the newborn King.  I keep learning bits here and there about this wonderful land that we already love and that will be a part of us forever.  Every family that travels comes home with a deep love and appreciation for Ethiopia's people and culture.  I can't wait to have our turn!

So unofficially we are #

 



Please pray that we can move to the teens soon.  Or for there to be the perfect toddler girl for us.  Although there is quite a wait for girls in front of us, I am not sure about the ages that they are requesting.  We could be #5 for a 2-3 year old girl. I do know someone who received their referral at 19!!!  Others have received them in the 20's and even low 30's. 

Anyways, even though I get down a bit---I have been so blessed with words of hope and encouragement this past month, especially at Christmas and from our pastor.  I know God's timing is perfect and I will rest in that.  But continue to pray, because I do believe in miracles.  I have faith that we will meet her sooner than later!  Our kids are so ready to meet their sister.